Thanksgiving weekend has come and gone and with that, the holiday movie season begins! What does that mean for a guy like me? It means, I'll probably be catching up on summer blockbusters on DVD that I didn't see in the theater (already watched "Green Lantern" and "Super 8" in the last few weeks and I'm waiting for "Cowboys and Aliens" and "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" to be released on Netflix). Nevertheless, I should give you some sort of Holiday movie preview because its my blog and I'll blog what I want to.
A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas - Go see this movie in the theater in 3D for the first 20 minutes or so. They make excellent use of 3D in the beginning, but the 3D gimmick loses its oomph as the movie progresses. If you don't have a 3D television, there is no reason to watch this movie at home except of course that NPH is in it briefly.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 - If you seriously want my or any opinion on this, you need to check yourself into a mental ward or better yet, smash your head hard into a wall two or seven times because you are a complete and utter idiot.
The Muppets (Follow on Twitter @MuppetsStudio) - Nostalgic, yes. Fun for all ages, yes. Fart shoes, yes. Singing Chickens, yes. Cheesy Jokes, yes. Humor based on toilets, yes. Cameos from not quite A-listers, but still really decent actors and actresses, yes. NPH, yes. Go see this movie repeatedly and stop watching twinkling vampires...what is wrong with today's youth. Mahna Mahna. Bring back the Muppet Show!
The Sitter - Jonah Hill as a babysitter. The red-band trailer looked like recycled Jonah Hill jokes & F-bombs for no reason but shock value because kids are involved. However, Sam Rockwell looks like he may be over-the-top hilarious in this. I can’t wait to see this on my Netflix queue.(I mean actually just see the title of the movie on my queue as it moves slowly down the list as I find better things to watch).
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy - Cold war espionage flick with Gary Oldman. Spy movie based on a 1974 spy novel where a espionage veteran is forced out of semi-retirement to discover a Soviet agent in MI6. Yawn. I'd rather rewatch RED if I'm watching retired spies. Honestly, I have no opinion on this movie, good or bad...make your own decision.
New Year's Eve - Ensemble cast (including Jessica Biel, Sarah Jessica Parker, Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher...yay?) that will force wives and girlfriends to steal 2 hours from their beloved husbands to watch yet another crappy romantic comedy. Remember when your significant other dragged you to the movie Valentine's Day? It's that, but in New York instead of Los Angeles.
Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows - Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law return as Holmes and Watson to face off against Professor Moriarty. Most likely, if you enjoyed the first film, you will like this one. I have warned you though...RDJ's sequel track record is sketchy, remember Iron Man 2? Still, I'll be going to this one.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked - Alvin, Simon, Theodore, and the Chipettes stranded on a island. I predict this will be the highest grossing CGI singing chipmunk movie of 2011. Unless Smurfs are blue chipmunks, somebody research that for me.
The Adventures of Tintin - Animated action adventure that I might be watching streaming on Netflix in 3 to 5 years. Then again, I might not. I'm sure this has some sort of niche fan base, but I'm not part of it.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - I guarantee that this movie will not be as good as the novel. It's probably not as good as its foreign counterpart of the same name. I've never read or watched anything regarding this story. I don't plan on it, but who knows what my wife will force upon me.
Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - The Kremlin is bombed, IMF is implicated, Ethan Hunt and company go rogue on a mission of an impossible nature. I believe this movie will have financial success at IMAX theaters since fans of Nolan's Batman films will flock there to see a 6 to 7 minute prologue of the Dark Knight Rises. I hope that it is as good as the 3rd flick. I was impressed with the last outing of this franchise, but like always, I'm skeptic since J.J. Abrams is hit and miss and Tom Cruise is a wild card.
The Darkest Hour - The guy from the Girl Next Door, Alpha Dog, and Speed Racer fights aliens in Moscow. Released on Christmas with the tagline: Survive the Holidays. Winner? No it looks horrible...but its horrible in 3D!
War Horse - Steven Speilberg's film about a boy and his horse. In WWI, a horse goes to war and a young kid goes after him. Heart wrenching stuff. Too bad I'm heartless. It's a horse, let it go kid!
We Bought a Zoo - Director Cameron Crowe, I still don't trust you after Vanilla Sky...I'm out.
And then a new year begins. 2012. The Dark Knight Rises, The Amazing Spiderman, The Avengers! So much to look forward to...and this is what has been causing my procrastination lately. Websites like Screen Rant, Super Hero Hype, Crave Online, and so many others along with my magazine subscription to Entertainment Weekly. I've been analyzing upcoming films and preparing for the release of these films by speculating with others in threads, forums, comment sections...whatever you call them. I'm on Screen Rant the most using the handle B-List Pornstar Extra...you know its me because I just told you. By following movie news on these sites and magazine, I know exactly what to expect for next year.
The Sequels: Underworld: Awakening, Journey 2: Mysterious Island, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Wrath of the Titans, American Reunion, Scary Movie 5, Men in Black 3, Madagascar 3, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, Ice Age: Continental Drift, The Dark Knight Rises, The Bourne Legacy, Step Up 4, Expendables 2, Resident Evil: Retribution, Taken 2, Skyfall (James Bond), Twilight Saga, and a slew of Halloween horror movie sequels like Texas Chainsaw, Paranormal Activity, Halloween, and probably another SAW.
The reboots and remakes - 21 Jump Street, Dark Shadows, The Three Stooges, The Amazing Spiderman, Total Recall, Dredd, Red Dawn...and probably a few more I can't think of. Also there is the 3D re-release craze with Beauty and the Beast, Finding Nemo, Titanic, and Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. If all goes well then maybe 2013 will be nothing but re-releases.
It's not a sequel or a reboot or a re-release but it does incorporate many characters from quite a few previous films - The Avengers :)
It may or may not be a prequel - Prometheus (prequel to Alien - perhaps Ridley Scott won't tell us for sure)
Werewolves, Vampires, Zombies, and Aliens have all had their time to shine, but now it is time for Fairy Tales? With "Grimm" on NBC and "Once Upon a Time" on ABC, the small screen has a couple fairy tale shows airing, but quite a few fairy tale movies are hitting the big screens in 2012. Mirror Mirror, Snow White and the Huntsman, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, and Jack the Giant Killer are the major theater releases planned, but I'm sure more films will come out of the wood work as this craze hits full steam.
UPDATE: Jack the Giant Killer and Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters were both pushed back until early 2013.
Another strange thing studios are doing is making movies about board games. 2012 will bring Battleship to life and a movie called Ouiji, too.
Lastly literature, novels, books, and other stories are all getting film treatments. From the internet hype, one can speculate that the most anticipated of these is the Hobbit next winter. The one I'm most excited for is the summer blockbuster, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. In March, The Hunger Games series kicks off along with John Carter of Mars and Dr. Seuss' The Lorax. World War Z is another book that is becoming a movie next winter that I'm excited about. Also, a movie called the Raven with John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe who is helping to pursue a serial killer that mirrors the writings of Poe.
Well, that about covers the Holiday movies and gives a sneak peak into next year. I know other movies like Looper, Haywire (minus Channing Tatum's involvement), Ted, and Iron Sky all look very interesting, but they didn't fit into my categories of stereotypes. And I could have gone further all the way to the year 2013 and talked about The Man of Steel, I Frankenstein, RED 2, the Lone Ranger, Pacific Rim, Star Trek 2, A Good Day to Die Hard, and others...but I'll save that for another time. Let me know in the comments what movies you are looking forward to in the future, be sure to start following me on twitter @Y2Jesse, go to Screenrant.com and leave some comments, save Community by watching Community (and nothing else on NBC) #changtheworld #sixseasonsandamovie, #savecommunity, stay warm and cozy and watch DVDs, and check back here daily for updates so you can be the first to tune in next time for more of these zany adventures of the one and only self-proclaimed semi-professional procrastinator that doubles as an entertainment guru...or as my mom continues to call me...that damn lazy couch potato.
Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteIs an udder idiot one of those who confuse utter and udder? Not that I mind or anything, udders kinda gross me out though...don't ask me why.
But seriously, I am interested in the movies about board games, I have not heard of this yet. Way to find something else to exhaust money. Serious lack of creativity on movie-makers parts, but should be interesting to see what they do with it. Lately I've tried to get into the fairy tale TV shows, but let's face it, New Girl overshadowed it for me. Actually, I shutter to say this: but all of Fox's Tuesday TV line up has got me hooked. Okay so Fox is crappy on politics and real events, but they sure do turn up some great shows!
I have the same reservations about New Year's Day. Seems a bit too "done that a couple times now" with the whole "He's just not that into you," "Valentine's day," and let us not forget this years "Crazy, Stupid, Love." Let's twist a bunch of love stories into one movie and in the end we'll see how they all intertwine into each other...yawn. Okay, the stories are cute from a girl's point of view, but can we pick new plots? Why are we still being suckers over this? (I also feel the need to share at this point anything with Emma Stone I love, even if the movie is crappy, is that wrong of me?)
We are catching up on our Netflix queue lately. Have you seen Lincoln Lawyer or Priest? I think I like those. At least well enough to get them for Brad's xmas.
I shudder to say this, but I don't think you meant to write shutter. You see how two can play that game, even though you are wrong. You see, I grew up on a farm in Nebraska where I would wake up each morning to do my daily chores. I'd head out to milk the cows on a daily basis. It wasn't until later in life upon watching the Simple Life with Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie that I learned that all cows aren't dairy cows. We raised feeder cows to slaughter for beef products. Those heifers had no idea what I was doing squeezing their udders, and you can image the "udder" confusion I had when it came to steers. So, with a little back history, you now understand why I use the phrase udder idiot.
ReplyDeleteNow onward towards the rest of your comment, Battleship has a trailer. It is supposed to be a summer blockbuster. Google it. It looks very strange but with lots of explosions with Tim Riggins from Friday Night Lights (or Gambit from X-men Origins: Wolverine). Another board game they were looking into was Monopoly, but it hasn't even got to the pre-production phase. I'm waiting for Hungry Hungry Hippos: The Movie.
I love New Girl and Raising Hope. I never got into Glee, that's probably because I'm into girls. I recommend watching Once Upon a Time on ABC. It can be cheesy CGI at times, but I have enjoyed the storyline at least so far. I don't watch Grimm since it on during Supernatural and Fringe. I hear it's ratings are poor and it probably won't make it to a 2nd season.
The New Year's movie is from the same director of Valentine's Day, Garry Marshall. He is in his late 70s, so my guess is that he forgot he did this movie a year ago. I am a fan of Emma Stone, too. I liked her in Superbad, Easy A, and Zombieland. Also, she will be in the Amazing Spiderman...one of my top 5 movies to watch next year :)
Priest and the Lincoln Lawyer, you think you like them? Are you waiting for an omnipotent outside opinion to assure you. If so, keep waiting because I have not seen Lincoln Lawyer, but I want to. Priest, on the other hand, I have seen part of. I was not a fan. I didn't even finish it. However, I recently watched Super 8. Great movie! And Katie got Crazy, Stupid, Love so I'll probably have to watch that. Or, I will just blog instead.
I do love your writing. Thanks for the banter. Pretty sure you're on everything except Glee. I wish I could have liked Grimm, the premise is awesome, the rest of it, not. Lincoln Lawyer is predictable, but good. Actually, I did like it mostly. Brad beat me to the putting it on the xmas list though, so that just means I got to add more crappy movies to mine.
ReplyDeleteIf you love Glee, then you'll love tonight's episode of Community that parodies Glee. Watch it and then cuss at NBC for shelving this show at mid-season for Whitney Cummings' and Chelsea Handler's sitcoms. NBC and Comcast...making horribly bad network television decisions together for the last 10 or 11 months (but really noticeable in the last 4).
ReplyDeleteBTW, if you didn't notice, my udder/utter explanation was an homage to the king of late night television, Mr. Conan O'Brien and his Monday night segment called "Fan Corrections" on TBS.
Check out http://teamcoco.com/hahaifoundanerror for more on that.