Friday, July 01, 2011

Biography of a blogger

Years ago the Earth was a molten mass...time passed on...some time in the 1970s a man met a woman...then in 1978, March 31st at 7 o'clock in the evening a baby, who would be later be the man named Jesse Thomas, was born.  By the tender age of 9 and 1/2, he learned to walk.  By the zit-covered, angst-filled-rage age of 17, he rode his first bicycle.  High school came and went. He learned about math, words, and other stuff. He dropped out of college after 1 semester to join the fast food work force. French fry grease caused him to forget everything he ever learned.   He flourished working at mundane employment opportunities and faded away for many years. Later on, he tried college again.  This time, he was granted a B.A. in English after a short stint in a community college that led to a 3 year journey at a liberal arts college in Iowa.  Yes, Iowa, the cow filled state of zero opportunity.  It is believed the educators gave him a sympathy degree to get him off their property. Eventually, it worked. While at college, this young man, who was much much older than the other students, joined a fraternity of brotherhood, drank more Captain Morgan than any one man should, and may have been molested by a goat.  Then, at the tender age of 30, he had sex (and didn't even have to pay for it). Finally, he was man. The next day, he had his first hair on his chest, and then 9 short months for him (9 very agonizing and terribly long months for the mother), his daughter was born.  Finally, someone with the same intelligence level is in his life. Thus is the story, as written so far, of Jesse Thomas...or J.T. as his friends call him.  Apparently, he has no friends.



This humorous biography of myself comes originally from my Google profile.  Technically, it came from my brain and then flowed through my hands into a keyboard to become words processed on the interweb via Google.  If you want to check out more about me...follow me on twitter:
http://twitter.com/#!/Y2Jesse
or friend me on Justin Timberlake's social networking site:
http://www.myspace.com/fakster
I'd say Facebook me, but I don't know you.  If you know me, Facebook me.  I'm on LinkedIn too...for being a professional loser.
Good Ol' Social Networking, I'm on them all...but don't steal my identity because the cops strip search me every time I'm pulled over and my credit score is lower than my IQ.