Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Point V2. - Vol. 7 - "Wait...What?"

In honor of last year's short-lived Comedy Central sports-themed show (Sports Show with Norm MacDonald), I've titled this volume of the Point, "Wait....What?" because I'm not only having issues with authority, dead celebrities, and musicians...I'm going to complain a lot about the sports world. Well not all sports and not really sports talk at all, more like ranting about the mistreatment of the ESPN editor, Anthony Federico, for using a common idiom as a headline.

Before I get started on ESPN's (L)insane over-reaction, I need to vent about this year's Academy Awards. The Artist stole five awards including best picture. My issue is that not only is this French film a silent one, it's also in black and white. Seriously? With all the advances in movie-making technology, the Academy gives the award to a film paying homage to a time when they wished sound and color were available options. I didn't watch this award's show for two reasons, one being that we cut the cord to cable and the other is that these aren't the movies that the general public enjoy. Usually, those movies are snubbed at Oscar time with the rare exception of an actor receiving the coveted prize postmortem for his portrayal of an iconic comic book character. My opinion is that Ledger's death really swayed the Academy that year. The Oscars is a pointless ceremony where a film goes to be recognized by the elderly, out-of-date and out-of-touch Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Wait...What? Science is in their title...color and sound are advances in the science of film making, yet the Artist is the best picture this year?  If you want a good list of movies from 2011, check out my entertainment recap of last year, and then question why Bridesmaids wasn't even nominated for best picture.

Now, back to the ESPN fiasco...do I believe that Federico's ESPN.com headline (Chink in the Armor) was an intentional racial pun? No. I do not. Do I believe that for some reason this was blown out of proportion? Yes, I do.
Anthony Federico was fired for this mistake, and television commentator, Max Bretos, was suspended after saying the same phrase on-air.  Bretos' wife is an Asian-American, so I doubt that he wanted to make family gatherings with the in-laws awkward.  In case you didn't know, "chink in the armor" refers to a special weakness that provides a means for attacking someone who seems otherwise invulnerable (Alludes to an opening in a suit of armor that allows a weapon to penetrate). It is a figure of speech that has nothing to do with race unless someone overly sensitive gets angry because the statement was in-regards to an Asian-American basketball star who has been headlining the news and the word chink can be construed as a racial slur...but it's not in this case. If the article was about an Asian-American working at Medieval Times, that would be grounds for firing.
Let me explain my issue with this figure of speech being considered racial. Grant Imahara is an Asian-American on the cable television show Mythbusters.  During season 4 on episode 5 (Superhero Hour), the voice-over narrator uses the "chink in the armor" phrase about a grappling-hook gun piercing a cement wall.  Wait...What? The narrator still has a job? And the script writer is still employed, too. Why? It's because Grant isn't in the national limelight, headlining newspapers, uber-famous with Nike deals being laid out in front of him, and has trademarked taglines like "Linsanity."
Federico and Bretos both got a bum rap for this ordeal. It's unfortunate that Federico has been forced into the bread line, but ESPN has an image to protect from overly sensitive idiots that don't know what an idiom is.  Honestly, I heard the audio of Bretos on 93X's Half Assed Morning Show, but I didn't know who he was talking about. Once the DJ mentioned that the statement was in regards to Jeremy Lin, I still wasn't sure what the issue was.  It wasn't until after the radio personnel spoke in length about the statement that I realized the issue. I heard a figure of speech. I didn't hear anything racial. Chink means a narrow opening and unfortunately, it is a homonym for a slang, racial-slur.  So my opinion is whoever the whistle blower was on this case...is a racist.

Fictional History can be used for eulogies
I know I spend a lot of time bad-mouthing Whitney Cummings, but I have an issue with a different Whitney lately.  This one passed away a few weeks ago, so if you think it's too soon for a blogger to write about a dead celebrity, then you might want to stop reading. Flags at half-mast, a live-stream funeral.Wait...What? What the H?  Come on America...really? Ok, she was once a very talented artist with so many hit songs that defined a generation. She had a bright future in front of her, but she threw it away to dabble in the dark side of drugs and alcohol. She was on dope far longer than she was famous. So she dies and everyone forgets how she was a coke fiend? Am I reliving the days after Michael Jackson's death? It seemed that everyone forgot that the King of Pop liked to (allegedly) pop little boys ding-a-lings out of their pants. I'm not one to sugar coat it...Jackson was an alleged pedophile who did something inappropriate if 7 counts of molestation were brought up against him and Houston was a drug addict.
I loved Nirvana, and nobody covers up the fact that Kurt Cobain had heroine problem when speaking of his self-inflicted gun-shot wound to the head. It's who he was. He made great music, did heroine, and shot himself.  Michael Jackson was in a boy band, made great music as a solo artist, got plastic surgery, lit his hair on fire during a Pepsi commercial, more plastic surgery, had an out of court settlement for one of the little boys he diddled, plastic surgery again, had a monkey and a Ferris wheel at his Neverland Ranch, was acquitted for seven counts of child molestation, hid on an island in the Persian Gulf, looked like Skeletor after a failed battle with plastic surgery made his nose invert, and died after cardiac complications from a drug overdose administered by his personal physician. He was a weird dude and should be remembered as that...and for Thriller. Houston was one of the world's best-selling artists, an actress in a few films, married to Bobby Brown who probably got her addicted to cocaine, divorced Bobby and lied about cleaning up her act, and OD'd in a hotel. None of these people are role models. Each one had demons that overtook them. I don't understand the infatuation with forgetting about a celebrity's personal issues after they die. Did we forgive Jeffery Dahmer or Timothy McVeigh for their wrong doings? Maybe if they made a couple of hit albums before their transgressions, all would be forgiven. O.J. Simpson take note...all they will remember you for is your achievements not the bad things you may or may not have done...or doesn't it work for sports stars...is this just for musicians? I need an explanation of the rules of mourning American celebrities!

Please, WWE...make this match!
Speaking of Bobby Brown, his little brother Chris Brown, who is also the son of James Brown, is making headlines once again. My fact checker is on vacation so based on their common family-name and their shared trait of beating women, I'm assuming they are all related. So Rihanna has collaborated with Chris Brown on a remix of a track. Wait...What?  Isn't this the guy who beat Rihanna relentlessly just three years ago?  And now Brown has allegedly stolen an iPhone at a club after a patron took a picture of him on it. Rihanna is supporting Brown in this situation because it's a violation of his probation (that he is on for BEATING HER). So, I get that people can forgive, but I feel as if Rihanna is making a major mistake. Rihanna is taking steps to become the next Whitney (Houston, not Cummings) only she isn't nearly as talented. But, it isn't my place to tell her what to do and perhaps she is a strong enough woman to become friends with a douchebag that abuses women. Now, it seems as if Chris Brown is in a Twitter war of the words with WWE Champion CM Punk. I'm not sure why Punk started this confrontation, but I assume the WWE needs a "bad-boy" celebrity at Wrestlemania. One can only hope that Brown gets in the ring and the "Glamazon" Beth Phoenix puts a beating on him. I'd pay to see that.

Since we are rewarding bad behavior, why don't we let Lindsay Lohan host SNL this week? Wait...What? Celebrities, dead or alive, should not be celebrated for bad behavior and as consumers, we can control who is famous. Do not watch SNL this week and please for the love of all things sacred, never buy another one of Chris Brown's or Rihanna's albums or download their music. Soon enough these two will fade away, and then she can be beaten in the privacy of her own home without the paparazzi's involvement or the public's knowledge. If we exile stupid celebrities properly, they will end up on a VH1 "celebreality" show or the Celebrity Apprentice in 5 years and then be gone forever...just like Flava Flav, Rod Blagojevich, Richard Hatch, Darryl Strawberry, and Danny Bonaduce.

To recap, don't watch SNL this week or ever if you please. Do not support Rihanna or Chris Brown and the WWE should make the dream match-up of Brown v. Phoenix. If you are Asian-American, I apologize for the American-English language having a homonym that is considered a racial-slur included in an idiom that may or may not be used every once in a while on television and in the news. The Oscars are a joke. And lastly, Comedy Central shouldn't have cancelled the Sports Show with Norm MacDonald. I hope I haven't offended any of my readers with my strong opinions about my issues with today's pop culture and seriously, someone e-mail me a copy of the rules of mourning an American celebrity who's behavior is ridiculously out of control. Where is the line between talent, craziness, and forgiveness drawn?

Thanks once again for using the internet for something other than porn or Facebook and taking your time to read my blog. Be sure to tune in next time for the zany adventures of the one and only self-proclaimed semi-professional procrastinator that doubles as an entertainment guru...or as my mom called me...that damn lazy couch potato....wait....WHAT?